Tour to Lombardy, 2 - 6 June 2011
The Demijohns Touring XI IX
Col. Mark Bavin, Mr David Tandy (+), Mr Adam Darling,
Mr Samuel Jones, Mr Mark Dyson, Mr James Heaton, Mr Stuart Bachelor (*),
Mr Matthew Morrison, Dr Jonathan Snicker
In 1438, the Venetians did a remarkable thing. They attacked the Milanese by sea. They sailed a fleet - six galleys and 25 smaller ships - up the River Adige. Landing at Rovereto, they used teams of oxen, 120 per galley, to haul the ships 15 miles over snow-capped mountains to Lake Garda, where they used a winching system to set them afloat.
We didn't do that, but our trip took almost as much organisation.
Some of the team arrived in Milan on the Thursday. Amongst them the skipper, with a yen for the canal district so strong that it took a reconnaissance force and a route march to meet it. Meet it we did, and Messrs Bachelor, Snicker, Tandy and Jones were soon settled in a leafy courtyard discussing the forthcoming cricket and having their blazers admired by Americans.
As with the tour to Provence, a veil must be drawn over events of the first night. Suffice to say that we found a bar open late enough to meet our needs - but no sooner had our good leader sussed its nature, and we had to leave.
The next day, the Demijohns mustered in force. Tour Secretary Mr Jones began the day bright, early and AWOL, but it didn't take long for people follow his trail to the Brera. After lunching amiably in yet another courtyard with the Skipper and the good Dr Snicker, Messrs Tandy and Jones made their way back to the hotel to greet their colleagues. But there was no need: stood on the platform of San Babila metro, the train doors opened and they were greeted by the brown, blue and gold, sported by Mr Morrison and Col Bavin, resplendent in mid-afternoon Milan. Momentum gathered in the early evening as the Dysons added weight and glamour to the party, followed by Mr Heaton who refused to follow instructions and instead simply called the tour secretary at each junction. Finally, the Social Secretary arrived, released into open air from the mines of the Colonnade.
You see that Giorgio Armani?
Questions from the Provence tour remained. How would the Demijohns fair with a weakened batting line up? Would Mr Morrison follow his canards with anatre? Where did Mr McGahan go for that extended period of time? Would JONES! know what to do in the field without due instruction?
Manzoni's Renzo Tramaglino entered Milan in search of his "Betrothed" - she was a good deal prettier than us
Saturday 4th June, vs Milan CC
Saturday saw our first match - and torrential rain. That, and the need of certain of the touring party for breakfast burgers, delayed our departure as we gathered at Milan's Porta Venezia.
An athlete's diet
En route to the ground, we very much doubted that we would play at all but by the time we got there the sun had burned through and the ground had drained: ideal for a day's cricket, albeit with nine men.
Tranquil, shaded and about an hour outside the city, Milan's Settimo ground was an ideal venue for our first game since 1987 on Italian soil. The rain held off and play began.
Dr Snicker on the boundary at Settimo
Milan batted first and our task in the field was made trickier because it turned out that the Lombardy tour cap, splendidly tasteless in all other respects, held aphrodisiac effects for the local midgery. In the heat we stood, with flies buzzing around our heads like Demijohns around a Scandinavian in the PT.
Mr Tandy took the gloves for the tour, leaving the skipper to concentrate on captaincy. Mr Heaton opened with a fiery spell that defied the effects of his breakfast (1-32); he was ably supported by Mr Darling, newly returned from injury and Dr Snicker, turning his arm over with figures of 2-35. Dr Snicker, it turns out, wasn't the only Jonathan on the field: we were assisted by one of Milan's own, our mole for the day and a thoroughly nice chap too.
Mattmo heads back to Mattmo
Col. Bavin sports
the Lombardy Tour
midge aphrodisiac
The fielding was sharp, with Mr Morrison occupying his now specialist position at Mattmo, a sort of deep forward leg gully, ideal for stopping runs off balls wide on the legside - a vital position in Demijohns cricket. Handy as ever in the covers, Mr Bavin caught two. Despite this, Demijohns couldn't oust Ramesh, Milan's number 2, who scored 70 and retired as his team set a target of 163.
Opening with the right, left combination of Messrs Dyson and Jones, the Demijohns set about their task. The openers put on a solid partnership of 66 (Mr Dyson, 22; Mr Jones 26). Both fell caught, trying to hasten the score. After a quick 22 from the skipper and pushing for runs, the middle order collapsed. Messrs Tandy and Heaton hit out to bring valuable runs at the end of the innings, with Jonathan (Legge) contributing too but, with the stumping of Dr Snicker for a duck, the Demijohns fell short of the total at 135 for 9.
Messrs Jones (left) and Dyson (right)
shared an opening stand of 66 against Milan
Mr Tandy hits out from the middle order
After the game, Milan CC kindly hosted dinner at a local trattoria, sharing with us a bottle of their own wine, now rubbing shoulders with the Zulu statuary and memorabilia of tours past in the St John's pavilion. Gifts were exchanged - the Demijohns town tie and an aphrodisiac cap for Milan, a bannerette and Milan shirts to make the return trip to Oxford, including one in extra small for Mrs Dyson, WAG par excellence.
Mrs Dyson post-prandial in Milan
Over dinner, members of the Milan team recalled the last Demijohns visit in 1987 and, before that, in 1985. Kindly, Chris Morgan of Milan CC has sent us the scorecards and reports of those games. They feature familiar names: Ham, Rham and Simpson. The results are telling, too: two matches on the 1987 tour, one against Milan and another against an Italian XI, won by 82 and 65 runs respectively, Tony Ham at one point taking 5 for 3 in 2.4 overs, including a hat-trick. El Presidente tells us that this victory was the first victory over an International XI that year, until a winter Test against Australia Down Under.
Sunday 5th June, vs Idle CC, Lodi
Mr Bachelor on his way to a brave, impressive ton against Idle
Rain looked set to blight Sunday's game against Milan's bitter rivals, Idle CC, as well. Nevertheless, we set out on the train to Lodi and arrived in bright sunlight. Idle's ground is picturesque - the MCC, no less, were set to play the Italian national side there a few weeks after us. It is called Radice, a reference to a former use for growing radishes, a surprise given the placidity and verdure of the outfield. The pitch, on the other hand, concrete and baked in the sun, had all the fieriness and kick of a radish. Idle having spare players, the match was played 12-a-side.
The Demijohns batted first, and the openers Messrs Dyson and Zahid, on loan from Idle, had to fend balls away from their throats. Certainly, it would take a brave batsman to face a young MCC quick on that wicket.
A formidable hutch
The pace proved too much for the openers, and Mr Bachelor had to take to the crease sooner than a competitive skipper would like. The bounce was no less, but he remained firm, keeping his head as all around lost theirs.
Mr Jones Goweresque on his way to
being run out for a duck
Wickets fell, but the captain remained at the helm. Aided by few in his team, he amassed an impressive 106, his second century for the Demijohns. Col. Bavin assisted with a late order 28.
Idle combined brute pace with the guile of spin and the Demijohns batting line up did well to score 206. After a hugely impressive lunch - during which many Demijohns acquired a taste for Parmesan, gouged in hunks from a mother-round - Idle's runchase was halted by more rain.
A rare sight
Two rare things were seen during Idle's innings: a Dyson bowling spell and - coincidentally - six fours off a single over. Mr Darling bowled with his usual menace: pace, direction and height varied to a degree that can alarm the most accomplished batsmen. Neither spinner, Dr Snicker and Mr Jones, had any luck with a ball wet from the outfield and an astroturf wicket slick from the rain. Relishing the bounce, Mr Heaton produced a long spell of 10 overs, picking up 3 wickets in the process.
With a huff and a puff...
Idle's Sunny (No. 1) in particular batted to take the game away from the Demijohns and couple of missed chances towards the end sealed our fate. Nevertheless, a minor mid order collapase including two wickets clean bowled by Mr Heaton made the game tighter than it could and perhaps should have been. Idle eventually wrapped the game up with two wickets to spare, the last runs coming with a 6.
The Demijohns batting against Idle CC
Like Milan, Idle were gracious hosts; like Milan, they gave us a bottle of wine, an empty version of which will duly join the memorabilia. Drinks and more parmesan on the terrace of one of the Idle players' houses proved a fitting end to the tour.
As ever, we thank our Lombard hosts and look forward to next year's tour, to Gascony.
Presentation of the country colours to Idle CC
Brazen hypocrisy
Tour Statistics
Results
Demijohns v Milan, Lost by 28 runs: Milan 163 for 6; Demijohns 135
Demijohns v Idle, Lost by 2 wkts: Demijohns 206; Idle 210 for 9 (12-a-side)
Bowling
|
Milan CC |
Idle CC |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wickets |
Average |
Ziauel, H
(Guest) |
- |
6-0-23-2 |
6 |
0 |
23 |
2 |
11.5 |
| Darling, A |
5-1-29-1 |
6-2-10-1 |
11 |
3 |
39 |
2 |
19.5 |
| Snicker, J |
6-0-35-2 |
9-0-53-2 |
15 |
0 |
88 |
4 |
22.0 |
| Heaton, J |
6-1-32-0 |
10-0-50-3 |
16 |
1 |
82 |
3 |
27.3 |
| Jones, S |
4-0-22-1 |
2-0-17-0 |
6 |
0 |
39 |
1 |
39.0 |
| Dyson, M |
5-0-19-1 |
3-0-29-0 |
8 |
0 |
48 |
1 |
48.0 |
Legge, J
(Guest) |
4-0-19-0 |
- |
4 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
- |
Batting
|
Milan CC |
Idle CC |
Average |
| Bachelor, S |
22 |
106 |
64.0 |
| Zahid, U (Guest) |
- |
22 |
22.0 |
| Dyson, M |
22 |
9 |
15.5 |
| Bavin, M |
1 |
28 |
14.5 |
| Darling, A |
0 |
14* |
14.0 |
| Jones, S |
26 |
0 |
13.0 |
| Ziauel, H (Guest) |
- |
8 |
8.0 |
| Legge, J (Guest) |
8 |
- |
8.0 |
| Tandy, D |
10 |
0 |
5.0 |
Heaton, J |
7* |
3 |
5.0 |
| Snicker, J |
0 |
2 |
1.0 |
| Morrison, M |
0 |
0 |
0.0 |
| Mirda, K (Guest) |
- |
0 |
0.0 |
Churchillian
